Oh No! Do I like Maroon 5?

The very thought of Adam Levine’s sexual conquests among various Hollywood starlets and socialites is enough to make me gag (whatever happened to good old-fashioned supermodel girlfriends?), but I swear I can’t get his band’s new song out of my head. “Makes Me Wonder” why I never took notice of this band before. Maybe because they’re bland, commercial and generally CHEEZY? That’s fair enough. (And, I’m sorry, but as a child of the 80s, it’s painful for me to like a band in which any of the members have beards, not to mention full-on Doobie Bros. ‘dos.)

In spite of it all, “Makes Me Wonder” is already the theme song of the summer … you know, the song that every beach radio station plays twice an hour right before the “time to turn so you won’t burn” reminder (or maybe they don’t do that anymore, since people just spray-on tans these days).

In some ways, “Makes Me Wonder” is one hair shy of campy, on the verge of Junior/Senior disco parody. Yet there are one or two moments when the kick, rhythm guitar and Levine’s nasal falsetto come together in that perfect early Kool & the Gang way, and I just can’t help but like this damn song! I have a sneaking suspicion that if I listened to the rest of their album I might not be as pleased. Sometimes Maroon 5 have a tendency to mistakenly believe they’re a rock band (“Harder to Breathe”), and that’s when I have to turn them off. If Levine + co. could only accept the fact that they’ll never be more than a good party band, then maybe – just maybe – they’ll actually achieve that status.

See you on the sands!